I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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