its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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