I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
