You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
