in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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