Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
