I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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