Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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