let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
