I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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