I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
