So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
