his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
