I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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