Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
