This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
