This girl is more easily done than said...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
