How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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