Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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