Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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