Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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