OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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