Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
