I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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