I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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