The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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