i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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