I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
