Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
