YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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