it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize