We're facebook friends in real life
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
