Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
