no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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