Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
