im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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