I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
