508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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