god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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