Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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