It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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