do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
