Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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