____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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