My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
