But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So much rum. So many feels.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
