she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
