I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
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