I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Shame - the story of my life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
