I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
