I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
