i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well most of my day revolves around power hour
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
