she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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