It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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