Will you blow on my dice?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
