Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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