There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
