Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
