so explain again why im purple
no
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Randomize
